Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Thankful 2013

The time has come....here we go.......

I'm thankful for Skype. I've been able to chat with my parents just about once a week. I also get to see/chat with my sister quite a bit.
Skype has made my time in China much easier. Thank you, Skype.
I'm also thankful for Google Hangouts....we didn't use this much. But, one time we had a big family chat and I got to hear all (except for Chris...college boy...) the voices that I love.

I'm thankful for my family (duh). These people........YOU GUYS! They are magic and I often think about how lucky I am....cause they are mine.
I'm also very thankful for my sister and my dad sending me packages of American things.
I'm thankful for my brother Mark for making Internet communication easier for me (outside the Great Firewall of China).
I'm thankful that I come from awesomeness.

I'm thankful for Jessica. China has been......interesting for me. And no matter what happened, or what drama was invented, she has stayed my friend through it all.....

I'm thankful for Chinese food, but I'm also thankful that I will be returning to a land with SO MANY food options. I'm thankful that I will eat a burrito in less than three weeks.

I'm ALWAYS thankful for cheese.

I'm thankful for my friends (duh). I have such talented and amazing people in my life. You are all works of art and I love you to BITS. I'm so lucky to have my peeps.
I'm also (*sigh*).....I HAVE to be thankful for Facebook. Because it has let me stay up to date on the doings and wonderfulness of all my peeps.

And lastly, I'm thankful for the last two-ish years of my life. I did it, you guys. I came to China all by myself and I taught English. I lived a dream. I LIVED A DREAM!
It didn't turn out to be what I thought it would be. But, I'm so..........I'm wordless. I can't believe I actually did it.
I kept promises to myself. I kept promises to my students......and I fought through all the crap and I DID IT.
Maybe you don't know about all the crap. I didn't talk about it much outside my family.
But, this was hard.
And I didn't give up. That's all I need to know. I'm thankful because I KNOW that I don't ever have to give up.

Oh. Chocolate. Thank you, chocolate.

Happy Thanksgiving, my peoples. I love you to the moon and back.


Monday, November 25, 2013

No No

This story is about Jason. That's Jason.

I'm not sure how much I've talked about Jason in the past (almost) two years. But, all you really need to know is that we mostly argue about Mariah Carey. 
I understand she can sing. It doesn't mean I have to like her.
He DOES NOT find this acceptable.

Another thing you should know about Jason is that all he wants to do is go to gay bars. He has two friends that perform in gay bars (lip syncing and dancing). And if you hang out with Jason, you have to be prepared to end up at a gay bar to see the show and say hello to DouDou and MuMu.

Well, Jason moved to another city a few months ago. But, he wanted to come back to Kunming and take me to dinner to say goodbye......
But, he also wanted to say hello to DouDou and MuMu. So, after dinner, where did we go?

A new gay bar called No No.

I spent most of the night laughing.......and TRYING not to laugh so hard that I drew attention to myself. 

Funny #1 

DouDou and MuMu dress mostly in the traditional dress of ancient Chinese women. Then, they sing a song or do some sort of traditional Chinese dance. There is also an occasional Lady Gaga song.
And the whole time.....the WHOLE night.......they looked bored to the point of falling asleep on stage. It's hilarious. I've been trying to accomplish that level of boredom all week. But, I can't quite keep the grin off my face. 
Bored dancing might be my new favorite thing. I will master it.

Oh, and the choreography for the occasional pop song IS SO BAD! (I will master this also.)

Funny #2

This new bar has a group of straight guys that come on stage every night and dance with their shirts off. 
Well, dance.....I shouldn't say dance. 
Some of them flex their muscles, some of them shuffle back and forth, and one of them........

Try to imagine someone attempting to make the truffle shuffle a sexy dance. 

I sort of felt like I went to an unintentional comedy review.

Funny #3

Jason: Leah! Do you see there is another foreigner here tonight?
Leah: Yeah.
Jason: Let's invite him over.
Jessica: No. Let's leave him alone.
Jason: But, we should invite him over for Leah.
Jessica and Leah: No.
Jason: But, Leah! Don't you want a man for the night?
Leah: Jason. First of all. NO. Second of all...you brought me to a gay bar.
Jason: Oh. Yeah. He won't like you.

The next time you see me, ask me to show you some of the choreography. I WILL master it.

*sigh* I wish I had video of the "sexy" truffle shuffle.

Dinner and a Movie

So, I teach a class on Saturday that I love to the moon and back. In fact, that class is why I stayed in China for another year.
The sad thing is...the class has lost a lot of students for various reasons. As I'm getting ready to leave, I'm now down to four boys.
Three 12 year olds and one 9 year old monkey boy.
This last Saturday was the day we invited their parents to come.....my boss wanted to talk to them about their options for teachers after I leave.
So, moms came, Andrew talked, Jessica talked, I talked (Jessica translated), I got really emotional and started crying........
I brought a cake. I told them that I wanted to share a cake with them to celebrate how great our time has been together. (And then I lost it.)

Anyway, the class is usually 4 hours. But, of course, we couldn't ask their busy moms to sit there for that long. So, this Saturday the class was only 2 hours. But, the boys were not happy about going home.
Kolin was especially displeased about going to be bored at home. He kept begging me to teach them. I kept telling him that I didn't want to trouble his mother.

Well, I guess the three 12 year olds didn't go home. Apparently they all went to Jonny's house. Cause Jessica came to my office and said that Jonny wouldn't stop calling her because they wanted us to go to dinner and a movie with them.
I said sure, but I wasn't hungry.
Jessica's class finished at 7pm. The movie was starting at 8pm. Jonny would NOT stop calling Jessica to see where we were.......(he might be a really annoying boyfriend one day....)

The boys were already done eating when we arrived. So, they spent the next 20 minutes serving us food and walking around the table like our personal waiters.
Jonny wanted us to go upstairs to meet his dogs. We met three of the four dogs and both Jessica and I wanted to steal the puppy. (WANT.)

Then........movie time. "Gravity" was the movie that fit our time needs. But, hey, I'm not going to complain about George Clooney (unless he is dressed as Batman).

 Owen, Kolin and Jonny
WHAT is that face? Stop it, Leah. I don't think partial-kissy-face is a thing...

I had a great time. The movie was good. TENSE.......I need a massage. But, I really enjoyed it. AND, the company was great. 
Man, you guys, I'm going to miss that class like crazy. I hope they all come see me in America one day. I'll return the dinner and movie favor. :D 

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

I can't walk...or something...

Sometime in September...I don't remember the exact date, I got off the bus at a brand new stop. It was dark.
Sidenote: I always watch where I'm walking in China. I probably look like I'm constantly staring at my feet, but you really have to watch out for poop. I'm talking animal and child poop. Just......on the sidewalk........
I was watching my feet. I actually have no idea what I tripped over. But, I fell and I hit my left knee hard.
In fact, I landed on my knee and hands SO HARD, I just froze. Stunned. On my face.
I don't know how long I stayed like that, but eventually, I rolled over. I was greeted with a group of faces.
Just. Staring.
No one offered to help. No one laughed at the lady that fell over. They just stared at me.
A woman pushed her way through the crowd and helped me stand up. I was still a bit stunned, but I think I thanked her before I started shuffling away.
I was covered in cement dust. COVERED! It's kind of funny now that I think back on it. But, at the time I was in too much pain to really think.
Anyway......I fell. I don't know how. I was kind of embarrassed about my lack of walking skills.
And, much to my dismay, my knee is still pretty messed up. I can't put too much pressure on it. At times, I wonder if I did some kind of permanent damage to the muscle. *sigh*

Sometime on the morning of November 20th........I was walking home after helping Jessica get some things moved.
I was watching my feet. But, that must have been the problem. Because I should have been watching the barrier I was stepping over. (I don't know if barrier is the right word. I don't know what to call it. It's not really a wall, but also not quite a tiny fence....)
I heard the ripping before I felt it. Something along the top of the barrier/tiny fence/non-wall ripped through my skirt, and then my tights, and then my skin. I had to pull my leg off......OUCHIE!
Well, lots of bleeding started (this is my right leg this time.) and I started to panic a little. But, then I remembered there was a pharmacy really close.
I walked in, lifted my skirt, did a waving (panic waving and heavy breathing) Vanna White type thing....and both the ladies behind the counter jumped into action.
They cleaned me up, sort of bandaged me, and were giving me rapid fire instructions. So, I called Jessica to get a translation. I paid them for all the stuff they used (and took a moment to be shocked at how cheap it all was) and then limped home.

You guys. It hurts. But, that isn't the point.

The point: I can't walk....or something............

After doing a number on both of my legs, I hope I can keep the rest of limbs safe during these last few weeks.

Wish me luck! (Sheesh.)