Monday, September 23, 2013

Student Conversations (2)

Well, ye olde fan page is going to retire this week. Because having two pages on Facebook is twice as annoying as only having one page on Facebook.
So, here are the rest of the fan page conversations with students. If there are future funny conversations (before my triumphant return)...look no further than ye olde profile.

June 5:
Me: I'm sorry this is your last class, but it has been an honor and a pleasure to be your teacher.
Elena: Leah. You were born in 1978. I was born in 1977. I am only older one year. You are not my teacher, but now we can be sisters and friends.

June 13:

Sunny: Steve, come here. Leah. Leah, will you shouting? Will you shout - Sunny and Steve, shut up!
Me: Ummmm....(shouts) Sunny and Steve, shut up! (normal voice) Like that?
Sunny: (turns to Steve) See? Is so loud. (walks away)

June 18:

Me: (Reading) That's dangerous.
Jack: (Singing) DANGEROUS! Michael Jackson. He is die.
Me: He is dead. He died. Now I'm sad.
Me: ................Let's keep reading..........

June 25:

Me: What animal do you like?
Her: Cat. I like cat.
Me: Cats. Okay. What color cats do you like? I like orange cats. And you?
Her: I like pink cat.
Me: There are no pink cats. What color cats do you like? Brown, white, black, orange?
Her: (gets real serious) I want like pink cat.

June 27:

Me: Mickey, what are you doing? Please sit down.
Mickey: No.
Me: Why? Don't you want to talk to me?
Mickey: (sits in my lap and hugs me) I do. But, today I will also kill you.
Me: What? Why?
Mickey: (stands up) I will kill you. (PUNCHES ME IN THE THROAT)
Me: OW! WHAT THE.........OW! WHY?
Mickey: (giggles)

July 2:

Me: Do you understand?
Him: Yes. I know exactly your means.
Me: *sigh* 
Him: What?

July 13:

Me: Can you tell me something you like to smell and something you don't like to smell?
Him: I like smell flower. I not like smell sh*t.
Me: Ummm.......right. I....I like to smell....I don't like to smell......the grammar.......infinitive.....(and then I started laughing and someone asked me why my face was turning red.)

July 19:

Text: Leah, Vanilla gained the first prize in this spoken English! We should say "thank you" because you make her loves English and learns happily!!
..........THAT is why I'm still in a place that makes me cry all the time.........I live for moments like this.

Aug. 13:

Student: I have pet turtle.
Me: Cool. Does it eat pizza?
Student: What? NO! Turtle not eat pizza.
Me: I know four that do.
Me: ........................yes.

Aug. 16:

Me: Can you please listen? Focus.
Student: No. Okay. Yes. No. Yes. No. No. Yes.
Me: You won't like me when I'm angry.
Student: I not like you happy.
Me: ................That......that was a pretty good response.

Aug. 26:

Her: Leah, my birthday is 9/11.
Me: Cool! That is so close.
Her: But, is not a good day for you.
Me: Well...that doesn't........and?
(See how profound and deep I can be?)

Sep. 12:

Student: Hello, Leah.
Me: Hey. How are you today?
Student: I'm fan....I am fantas.....fantasteric.
Me: I like your new word.
Student: What?

Sep. 13:

Him: I kill zombies on computer.
Me: Could you kill a real zombie?
Him: There is no zombies in China or America.
Me: But, when there are...are you ready?
Him: Ummm....yes. Zombies must be die. Zombies is dirty.

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