So, here are the rest of the fan page conversations with students. If there are future funny conversations (before my triumphant return)...look no further than ye olde profile.
Me: I'm sorry this is your last class, but it has been an honor and a pleasure to be your teacher.
Elena: Leah. You were born in 1978. I was born in 1977. I am only older one year. You are not my teacher, but now we can be sisters and friends.
Sunny: Steve, come here. Leah. Leah, will you shouting? Will you shout - Sunny and Steve, shut up!
Me: Ummmm....(shouts) Sunny and Steve, shut up! (normal voice) Like that?
Sunny: (turns to Steve) See? Is so loud. (walks away)
Me: (Reading) That's dangerous.
Jack: (Singing) DANGEROUS! Michael Jackson. He is die.
Me: He is dead. He died. Now I'm sad.
Jack: MICHAEL JACKSON!
Me: ................Let's keep reading..........
Me: What animal do you like?
Her: Cat. I like cat.
Me: Cats. Okay. What color cats do you like? I like orange cats. And you?
Her: I like pink cat.
Me: There are no pink cats. What color cats do you like? Brown, white, black, orange?
Her: (gets real serious) I want like pink cat.
Me: Mickey, what are you doing? Please sit down.
Me: Why? Don't you want to talk to me?
Mickey: (sits in my lap and hugs me) I do. But, today I will also kill you.
Me: What? Why?
Mickey: (stands up) I will kill you. (PUNCHES ME IN THE THROAT)
Me: OW! WHAT THE.........OW! WHY?
Me: Do you understand?
Him: Yes. I know exactly your means.
Me: Can you tell me something you like to smell and something you don't like to smell?
Him: I like smell flower. I not like smell sh*t.
Me: Ummm.......right. I....I like to smell....I don't like to smell......the grammar.......infinitive.....(
Text: Leah, Vanilla gained the first prize in this spoken English! We should say "thank you" because you make her loves English and learns happily!!
..........THAT is why I'm still in a place that makes me cry all the time.........I live for moments like this.
Student: I have pet turtle.
Me: Cool. Does it eat pizza?
Student: What? NO! Turtle not eat pizza.
Me: I know four that do.
Me: Can you please listen? Focus.
Student: No. Okay. Yes. No. Yes. No. No. Yes.
Me: You won't like me when I'm angry.
Student: I not like you happy.
Her: Leah, my birthday is 9/11.
Me: Cool! That is so close.
Her: But, is not a good day for you.
Me: Well...that doesn't........and?
(See how profound and deep I can be?)
Student: Hello, Leah.
Me: Hey. How are you today?
Student: I'm fan....I am fantas.....fantasteric.
Me: I like your new word.
Him: I kill zombies on computer.
Me: Could you kill a real zombie?
Him: There is no zombies in China or America.
Me: But, when there are...are you ready?
Him: Ummm....yes. Zombies must be die. Zombies is dirty.