Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Oh, should I teach? Sorry...

It was Saturday morning, I had just finished teaching a class from 8:30 - 10:00. Then I made my way down the hall for my 10am - 12pm class.
When I walked inside the classroom a few kids were doing homework...and a few kids were doing something kid like. I don't know, I'm not a big fan of this class. They were doing things that I wasn't paying attention to.......
I usually start this class with a music video of some sort. So they have time to put things away, sit down and (hopefully) shut some pie holes. (This class never shuts the pie holes, but, I still live with hope!)
The music videos are American pop music....I play Adele and Katy Perry a lot, because I think Justin Bieber may be one of the signs of the apocalypse. (IT'S POSSIBLE!) But, alas, sometimes I have to let the kids choose the song. So, Justin Bieber happens in my classroom. SADFACE!
Anyway, the "warm up" period of my class is about 5-10 minutes long. It depends on the length of the video. (Cause some kids REALLY like the new "We Are the World" thing...and that video is LONG.)
This particular Saturday, one of the kids had chosen a video before I could get to the computer. I shrugged, sat down, and started thinking about being a Transformer. (I'm trying to decide if I want to be a car or a plane. It's important!)
The song ended, and I was about to stand up and call the class to order. I mean, I was about to stand up and beg them to listen to me......but, one kid ran up and clicked on another video. I looked at the screen and saw a man in a white suit running down a blue looking alley way. I gasped. The whole class looked at me funny and then went back to whatever they were doing...
I have no idea what was going on around me for the next 10 minutes. All I could see was the "Smooth Criminal" video on the screen.....the Moonwalker version. 
I was sucked in. I've always been a fan of Michael Jackson. But, there is something about that video, I could watch it FOREVER. 
In the last few seconds of the video, I noticed that my Co-T was moving closer to me across the classroom. She looked at her phone and then at me a few times. I finally tore my eyes away from the screen and looked at my watch.
"Oh, should I teach? Sorry.......I really love this video. I could watch it all day. Sorry. Let's get started!"
SHOULD I TEACH? I said that out loud. For the love.....


Monday, June 3, 2013

Student Conversations...

I have a fan page on Facebook (for my English Teacher in China persona). I've been posting random little conversations and things.
I'm not sure what will happen to ye olde fan page when I return to better cheese. I mean America.

I don't want to lose those conversations.........so.......copy and paste, ENGAGE!

Me: What did you do this week that made you happy?
Student: Homework.
Me: That made you happy?
Student: No. There is no happy.
Me: This country is depressing.
Student: What means?


Me: What is the setting?
Student: He home.
Me: His home.
Student: His he home.
Student: Then where is he home?
Me: You have a pronoun problem. 
Student: I not understand.
Me: I can tell.


Student: How old are you?
Me: *sigh* How old do you think I am?
Student: Are you 43?
........................and that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why I died a little inside. Send in the clowns.

Student: Leah. I love you. (pause) LEAH. I LOVE YOU. (pause)

Me: Andy, I love you too. Claire and I are talking.
Me: Why?
Student: No why. I don't love you now.
Me: Because........whatever. Go sit down.


I asked the students to give me sentences with adverbs. This is what I got:
My dad's run is quickly.
My dad's work is loudly.
I is play outside.
I can swim is slowly.
My mom is quickly.
Leah talk is loudly.
I'm trying to figure out why these kids want to put 'is' in EVERY sentence.......


Me: What do you like to eat?
Student: Ice tream and hamborgder.
Me: That was so cute! I almost don't want to correct you.
Student: (giggles) Ting bu dong. (Don't understand.)
Me: What is your name?
Student: I am name is Emily.
Me: You are so wrong and SO CUTE!

Me: What's the weather like today?
Emily: Today is sunny day. [Ballerina arms in my face]
Me: Do you like sunny days?
Emily: [Frantic ballerina arms] Yes! Sunny day I is eat ice tream!
Me: You are KILLING me, Smalls!
Emily: [Stops flailing] Am name Emily.

Me: The bear likes to eat in the dining room. See the bear in the dining room? Where do you eat?
Student: Hamburger.
Me: Not what. Where do you eat.
Student: I like hamburger.
Me: WHERE! Three years, Tom. Three years of English. How...
Student: No. I see one bear. I see one cat.

Emily: Do you like my two tress? It have dreen butterfies.
Me: Do you mean cool dress? Your cool dress?
Emily: Yes. Two tress.
Me: *sigh* With green butterflies? What sound does G make? Green.....
Emily: Well, a little bit dreen and a little bit boo.

Student: Are you a penguin?
Me: Why? Oh. Because I'm wearing black and white?
Student: Because you are fat.
Me: First, that is rude. Second, penguins aren't......whatever. Is your mom here yet? Go home.

Me: Hello, Emily. How are you?
Emily: Not otay.
Me: Why?
Emily: Today is no ice tream.
Me: I'm so sorry. Why?
Emily: (looks sadly at the floor for a minute) I don't know.

Student: (singing) The stars of your love remind me of bus.
Me: Bus?
Student: What?
Me: I like your version.
Student: What?
Me: Nothing.