Saturday, May 11, 2013

Le Freak Out.

It is Saturday afternoon. I'm home sick. I should be teaching my favorite class right now. But, instead, I'm in bed waiting for the next time I have to sprint to the bathroom.
Being sick in a country where you don't understand the medicine.......not fun.
But, that is not the point of the post. The point is: I just had a full on freak out.
Full on freak out about.............zombie flies.

Let me explain.

So many flies. When I open the door to my balcony...I swear they are all lined up outside like my apartment is a fly club. They just can't wait to get in AND I DON'T HAVE A BOUNCER!
So. They come in. And they annoy me. EVERY. DAY.
They annoy me for a few reasons. 1. They think my apartment is the place to be. 2. Flies in this country are slow. They meander around the apartment. I don't think you can call it real flying. They meander and drift about....occasionally run into things.......drunk flies! Maybe that is the problem!

Anyway. Like I said, I'm home sick today. So, I'm in bed, staring at the ceiling when...........
FREAK OUT!
It went something like this:

These flies are so annoying. WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW, FLIES? Where did the third one go? To the bathroom? I hate you guys. You don't even make fly noises. You are slow and quiet and.........
WAIT! WHY DON'T I EVER SEE DEAD FLIES?
(I got up and checked under the bed. I walked slowly around the apartment staring at the floor. I rushed to the bathroom and then returned to the bed.)
WHERE DO YOU GO TO DIE? WHY ARE THERE NO BODIES?
WAIT! There are always three of you. Why are there always three flies? Are you the same flies? I thought flies only lived for like a day. ARE YOU THE SAME FLIES?
What if it all starts with flies? Fly zombies. Fly zombies eat dead animals and then land on people's food..........THAT IS HOW IT BEGINS!
WHERE ARE THE DEAD FLIES?
I must be tired. It's hard to get rest when your body won't stop going to the bathroom. That must be it. Right? There are no fly zombies. I'm just tired.
WHO IS TIRED AT 4PM? IT ALL STARTS WITH THE FLIES!

And then I had to rush to the bathroom again. By the time I came out of the bathroom....well.....I'm pretty sure I've calmed down.
I still don't see any dead flies. So, I'm pretty sure I've calmed down. Maybe.

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