Friday, February 22, 2013

Hospital

Written on 1/21/13

WARNING: THIS MIGHT SEEM GRAPHIC TO SOME, BUT I MUST TELL THE TALE......

Sometimes I have some serious stomach issues. I figure it is because my taste buds love spicy food in China, but my stomach isn't the biggest fan. So, when it happens.....I don't think too much of it.
Like two weeks ago, I didn't think too much of it......but, I was annoyed that throwing up was added into the mix. Oh, and then I slept for 12 hours straight. But, it still didn't seem like that big of a deal to me.
Well, Saturday (1/19), I woke up at 4am and went to the bathroom. A lot. And then, I threw up. Back to bed. 30 minutes later = bathroom. A LOT. Throw up. Bed.
I only threw up twice before work, but I went to the bathroom about every 30 mins. and I was SUPER worried about the bus ride to school. But, I can't call in sick on Saturdays....there is no one to teach my classes!
I was miserable. I was frustrated.
I sent Chris a text and asked him to bring me some stomach medicine. But, all it did was mask the pain. Bathroom. Bathroom. Bathroom. Pretty soon it was every 20 mins....then 15 mins......and I threw up 3 more times.
Finally, at around 5pm, I couldn't take it anymore. Because you have to understand...............China uses squat toilets. Only some buildings have the Western style toilets....and I just wanted to go home to my Western style toilet. It was getting to the point where I was wobbly on my feet and I was terrified of falling into the squat toilet.
So, I went to talk to Jessica about teaching the last hour of my class. Then, I went to my boss and asked him to take me home. I was so close to tears. He asked what was wrong, I told him....he said that I had been away from work for two days just two weeks ago...it was time to go to the hospital.
*sigh* He had to stop at a hotel on the way to the hospital so that I could use the bathroom.
Then, we get there and sit in front of the doctor. *sigh* My boss had to translate for me. It was so embarrassing. He translated all about my stool, my stomach pain, my last period. All stuff you don't want to talk to your boss about. THEN, the doctor lifted up my shirt to feel around my stomach and ask where the pain was: IN FRONT OF ANDREW! So, by this time I had decided I would rather just die of embarrassment.
But, instead, they sent me to get a stool sample......squat toilet. Not only that! I had to carry my stool sample in the elevator to take it to the lab. So, seriously, death by embarrassment....
Then, Andrew took me to a nurse so they could put me in a bed for an IV and to take some blood. I had been in the bed for about an hour when Jessica, Charlie and Chris show up. Andrew took them to dinner. They come back. Andrew goes to get my test results.....acute stomach flu. The doctor will give me some medicine, but they want me to stay until three IV bags are empty.
Andrew left at 8pm. At around 9:30 I had to go to the bathroom again......they don't have the rolling thing for the IV. I had to take it with me and hang it on the little purse thing in the bathroom stall.
At 10pm I went to the bathroom again, Jessica told me later that they did rock, paper, scissors to see who had to stay with me. You know, to translate.....Jessica lost. (Makes you feel pretty loved and awesome, right?)
Soon after the boys left.....bathroom every 20 minutes started again. At 12:30am I told Jessica to tell them I just wanted to go home. It wasn't working. Just give me the medicine and let me to TO MY WESTERN TOILET! My knees were killing me and it was getting harder and harder to stand back up again.
Jessica went to talk to the doctor. The doctor returned saying that I had gone to the bathroom too much and the IV was leaving my body too fast. They wanted me to pay more money to get another IV bag with a higher content of KA. (Whatever that is.....)
I got angry. Like, Bruce Banner is in the building.........that angry.
I told Jessica to tell them NO NO NO! I'm not paying more money for something that isn't working. I do NOT want them to put MORE of something in my body that isn't working. I don't even know what KA is, but it wasn't doing anything but making my arm and my chest hurt. I had been doing this stupid IV for about 7 hours. I was done.
So, they told Jessica to go downstairs and get my prescription. It turned out to be imodium.....*sigh*
They took out the IV and I went to the bathroom one more time. Then, we went to the office to check out. I told Jessica that they just wanted more money from me. I was so angry.
They gave us the check out papers....and Jessica asked how often I should take the pills. I asked her to translate and she said, "the doctor said you can take two more in 12 hours. But, she thinks you will be just fine in the morning."
I glared at the doctor for a long time and then turned to Jessica, "then why did she want me to stay for 6 more hours of IV? I told you they just wanted more money."
Jessica told me just to forget it......go home. So, we walked outside and hailed a cab.
It was horrible and ridiculous. I don't like hospitals in America, but...it's just one more thing I'm going to be super grateful for when I get back to the States.

Oh...and here is the random thing....I still had one IV bag left to go when I demanded to go home. So, what did the nurse do? Sent the unused IV bag home with me. So, I have an IV bag full of clear liquid sitting in my pantry.
I am on another planet.

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