Sunday, August 26, 2012

That Bad, Huh?

K. So, my students hate writing. They get really nervous about spelling and grammar. I understand that it is hard for them, but I keep telling them that they need practice. It will always be hard and scary if you never try.....I say stuff like that......
So, I try to make the writing assignments a bit more exciting for them. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it backfires on me.
On Tuesday night and Saturday afternoon, I teach a class of 12 year old kids. There are 7 students in that class and they are my FAVORITE kids! So, I'm not going to lie, I try to make that class more fun than my other classes.
I told them we were going to do a writing assignment. But, to make it different, I told them they were going to have 10 minutes to draw a picture. Then, I would take the pictures and give them to another student. They all then had 25 minutes to write a story about the picture they received.
I didn't think it sounded too bad. It was different for them. So, I thought it wouldn't be too bad. Well, they all groaned. One student leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He sighed heavily and said, "oh my god, god, god in the sky."
I chuckled and said, "that bad, huh?" They all responded with a very loud yes.
I split them up across the room and started the timer for drawing. Then I took the drawings and had them pick one at random and return to their seats.
You guys....they were all sitting around at different parts of the room. This is important.....
I got all the stories back and discovered that they must have hated this assignment far more than I thought they did.
I told you I have 7 kids, yes? They all had TOTALLY different drawings, yes?
Okay. 5 of the 7 stories ended EXACTLY the same way. It did NOT matter what happened in the rest of the story............the last sentence was:
And then they eat sh*t and die.
So, I stood in front of the class to give feedback.....and my eyes were watering cause I thought it was so funny. I was having a hard time talking. So, all I could think to say was:
Ummm...the correct grammar is- And then they ate sh*t and died.

Monday, August 20, 2012

You know I like RANDOM

Random stories and thoughts......

Yesterday I saw a man riding a bike. He wasn't wearing a shirt, his
pants were way too big and full of holes. He had no shoes, but that
isn't the part that made me stop in the middle of the road: He had no
arms. He was leaning over the handlebars and steering with his chest.

Does anyone understand what Sly Stalone says? Ever? He needs
subtitles. Is that a job? Someone should have that job.

I started watching "The Expendables" online last night. That's what
made me think about RockyRambo. I don't normally spend time thinking
about Mr. Stalone. But, seriously, he is the king of mumbling.
Anyway, I couldn't finish the movie. When it got to the point where it
seemed like RockyRambo was going to have a love interest...and he
might be kissing someone....I realized that I couldn't finish
watching. I realized that the thought of watching him kiss someone was
the stuff of nightmares. Have I developed a new fear?

The school got a new secretary two months ago. She wears stripper
shoes to work. Today, she is so high off the ground....she can't walk
in a straight line. I must be tired, or something, because it super
funny.

My school is on the 28th floor of this business building. We are the
entire top floor. There is a hotel behind us that you can see from
some of the classrooms. The hotel caught on fire this morning. I've
been watching the firemen......stand around the fire and chat with
each other. I'm hoping they are at least talking about the fire.
Cause....they don't seem to be doing much else. I mean, they brought a
hose. So, they got started. I think.

I went to have lunch the other day......oh, it was SO GOOD! Rice,
eggs, tomatoes, a side of potatoes, and fantastic spices. It was
perfect. Almost.
I was sitting at a table just outside on the sidewalk. Right next to
my table was a big glass thing, like a fish tank, belonging to the
store next door. A TANK FILLED WITH BOILED CHICKEN HEADS. So, as long
as I didn't look to my right....lunch was perfect. :)

I miss chocolate. I don't know where the Chinese got their
chocolate.....and I don't know who told them it WAS chocolate.
Somebody lied.

I've had parts of "Funky Cold Medina" stuck in my head for two days.

The other night...I couldn't sleep. That happens a lot here. This kind
of non sleeping would have been awesome when I had graveyard shifts
back in ye ol' college.
So, around 6am....I got super-holy-crap-amazingly bored. And what did
I do? Why, I cut my own hair. CAUSE I'M LEAH. That's how I roll.
Bad news, kids: Kitchen scissors in China......not so great for hair cutting.
Good news, kids: No one but me seems to notice that I messed up. Cause
most hairstyles in China....well, let's just say......no. Let us not
say. Let us not be rude.

Ummm....

(August 2, 2012)

I thought my life in China would be different. Not better....just....I don't know.

I read a lot, I wander the Internet, I go to work, I eat food......OH WAIT! I guess that is different. I don't really eat the same food.

OH WAIT! I can't understand anybody. Now, that isn't totally different. There are a lot of people in America that I don't understand. Some people just don't make sense, you know? But, here, I don't understand what anyone is saying. At. All.

That gets.....frustrating. Disheartening? Something.

The other day, I was walking to the store to buy some foodage. I'm walking home with two heavy bags and basically watching my feet the whole way....because I don't want to step on poop. Here, in good ol' China, you run the risk of stepping on dog, cat, or child poop. In the street. So, it is important to watch where you are going.
I'm walking around the corner and a man comes rushing out of a store and gets in my face to yell at me and shoo me away. His face was in my face, his hands were in my face, and his yelling was in my face. I stopped and said, "what did I do?" Well, this just made him yell more....so I started walking a bit quicker around him. I mean, I must have done something horrible....right? Like, walk on the sidewalk? Carry groceries? Wear a hat on a rainy day?

Ugh. I'm clearly a horrible person.

Hiking?

I also wrote this on March 29th.......

On Monday, most of the teachers went on a hiking trip to Western
Mountain. I say trip...but, the mountain isn't really that far away.
Oh, and it was paved the whole way...........so, it wasn't really
hiking like I'm used to.....when they said hiking, I thought of Rock
Canyon. :) And that isn't really what I got. BUT, it was gorgeous. I
loved getting out of the city and into the trees. The sounds of the
city melted away and all I could hear was nature. (And the rest of the
teachers speaking to each other in Chinese)
I loved the mountain. We "hiked" for a bit over two hours to a
village. The village name translates into something about Cat
Cat......I don't really understand. I didn't see any cats. But,
whatever......
We had lunch there. You may have read about that on Facebook. You
know, on the FanPage that Tiffani started for me...................we
ate rooster and hen. And the ENTIRE animal was on the platter. I could
see the beak, the feet, all the organs...and all the meat was still on
the bone.
I had two bites before I noticed the animal was practically staring
back at me.....and then I decided just to eat rice and vegetables.
But, I did try an egg and flower omelet. That wasn't bad. But, flowers
taste kind of weird.
It was a fun day. I hope we do more stuff like that. :) I can't wait
to share it with you!!!!!