Sunday, November 30, 2008

A bit of Bah Humbug



This will not be the first time you hear me say Bah Humbug during the season. But, I found this picture earlier and thought it was super funny. It is funny to me for the following reasons...
1. It could be proof that I have always been moody about Christmas.
2. That is my sister in the Santa suit.
3. My brothers are wearing footy pajamas.
4. I am wearing pink. That fact alone could explain the expression on my face. 

Some people may ask why I don't like Christmas...so, I shall explain. I don't like what has happened to Christmas. I love Jesus, I love that he was born, I love big warm blankets, hot chocolate, being around friends and family, comfy pants to watch TV in while drinking hot chocolate...and thinking about love and joy.
I do NOT love shopping, kids freaking out because they aren't getting the most expensive stuff, people yelling at each other in the mall because they grabbed that last box first, people forgetting Jesus because Santa brings stuff...and Jesus doesn't come in a big cool box. 
I guess I get all Scrooge during the holiday season because I feel like the holiday I remember is lost.
My dad would read Luke 2 to us...we would have PLENTY of warm beverages, sit around with throw blankets, talk again about what we were thankful for...and have tasty food all day long.
Anyway...I'm sure not everyone has lost the season. And maybe if I ever have a family of my own I'll be able to find the season again. It's still there in my heart! Even if I have my Scrooge face on...
Now I'm rambling...I really just wanted to share a funny picture. Le sigh. 

Much love. I wish you joy. I wish you comfy pants.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Is There Anybody Out There?

I took this iPod game off of Kate's blog...(my sista friend!)

I'm killing time while avoiding the scary world of Black Friday. I can't stand shopping...so today is a day where the world scares me.

1. Put your iPod on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Let's hear is for the boy--Deniece Williams

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Stand By Me--Oasis

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Killing me Softly with His Song--Fugees (HA HA HA)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Kiss Me Deadly--Billy Idol

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Animal--Pearl Jam (This game is fun)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
I Know--Barenaked Ladies
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Futile--Say Anything (Hey now!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
death of a martian--Red Hot Chili Peppers

WHAT IS 2+2?
His Name is Lancelot--Spamalot

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Minimum Wage--They Might Be Giants

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Dani California--Red Hot Chili Peppers

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Love of a Lifetime--Firehouse

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Le Freak--Chic (Best.Answer.Ever)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Hazy Shade of Winter--The Bangles

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
The Space Between--Dave Matthews Band

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Not For You--Pearl Jam (is that a bad omen?)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Kung Fu Fighting--Carl Douglas (YES)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
You Surround Me--Erasure

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Deeper and Deeper--Madonna

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Africa--Toto (Yes...there is Toto on my iPod)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
The Sharpest Lives--My Chemical Romance

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Santeria--Sublime

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Star Wars Battle Theme--John Williams (I regret nothing!)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Every Little Thing She Does is Magic--The Police

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
enjoy the silence--Depeche Mode

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Popular--Wicked (Original Broadway Soundtrack)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Not the Same--Ben Folds

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
I'll Make a Man Out of You--Mulan Soundtrack

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Conquest--The White Stripes

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
The Song That Goes Like This--Spamalot

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Is There Anybody Out There?--Pink Floyd

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

For Memorie

Memorie,

I just got off the phone with you! And as per our conversation...I will be dedicating this blog post to you! Today I shall speak of the things of our past...today is all about...

"The Life and Times of Pot and Pan"
by Leah...Chunk #2

1. I still remember the night we met in high school. How bitter and peeved we both were at our Moms for 'deciding' we were going to be friends. (Did we ever thank them?) I was so nervous when you came to pick me up for the back to school dance. What if we hated each other? What if we had nothing in common? I remember thinking your dad was funny, and your brother was cute...and that your clothes were rad, but I was still nervous.
And then we got to the dance...and you started to dance! Actually dance at a school dance! You didn't sit around by the walls and chat...or wander around flirting with the jocks...or stare at your shoes. You danced. I think that was all it took. We danced...and we were friends.
2. And we were crazy! I remember skipping down the halls in high school and stopping at people's lockers to sing Christmas Carols to them....in September.
3. Making up songs and dances about boys we thought were cute. Tia and I made up less appropriate songs, but they were all funny.
Well, to be fair...I guess not everyone thought we were funny. We did get in yelling matches with the jocks at dances. We did crash other high school dances and discover that those jocks didn't like us either. Huh. I can only think of five or six of the jock types that did like us. Interesting.
4. We had the best sleep overs! Popcorn with so much butter I'm surprised we are still alive..."Anne of Green Gables"...and our own brand of funny. You would let me sing Disney songs to you.
5. THRIFT STORES!
6. Oooooo...I remember the time we broke into your house because we wanted a piece of cake.
7. Did I mention we had an unhealthy love for butter?
8. College dances! That one year that we went to the Dixie College Halloween dance....man....those football players DID like us. Hee hee. I think my favorite dance to this day was the BYU Homecoming we crashed in jeans and t-shirts with Tia and Michelle. I need to find those pictures again. I know I have one framed somewhere.

We have always had fun. You have always been one of my favorite people. I know we had a few years that we lost, but it doesn't matter. When we finally did get to talk again and see each other again...it was like nothing had happened...we just had more to catch up on than usual. =)
I miss you. I miss you everyday. I'm glad we still talk on the phone...and even after all the years and all the distance...we still have something very important in common: We are rad.

Love you!

Leah

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Pirate Story

K, one more for today. For those of you that don't know...my best friend, Tiffani Mills, and I are pirates. We love pirates and most things having to do with pirates.
Well, when I met Tiffani in college she had a large pirate following (much like my LeahFederation). I didn't have a pirate following yet, but I did have a name and my Federation to back me. The war of the two pirates became another fun joke...because we are the very best at entertaining ourselves!
So, when Tiffani created a group on MySpace for our pirate war between Typhoon Tiffi and Shakes McGee...I decided to write a story to go with it with inspiration from my dear friend, Tiff!


The Story of how it all began

Shakes and Typhoon, the saga begins....by Leah Wuergler

In 1674, upon the Pirate Ship of Captain Pontificate, the first child born to sea took her first breath at the hull of the mighty sloop. It was this clear night in April that Master Gunner Michael and his bride, Sweet Sherry McGee, gave birth to Shakes McGee. Shakes was raised on the ship, never setting her feet on land until her sixteenth birthday when the Sloop came into port in the town of Bogenshire. It was there that she would first set eyes on the little girl that would become her greatest enemy.
Victoria the Wise gave birth to Tiffani Spifftopolous on June 15th, 1680. Victoria was living just outside of Bogenshire, and moved into the center of town shortly after Tiffani was born....to give her daughter a better chance at life. After getting a job with the town Magistrate, Victoria started teaching Tiffs about the world, and all the different cultures there in. Victoria wanted nothing more than for her daughter to grow up and take them both away. But, Tiffs had one love and that was the sea. It seemed that no matter what her mother taught her, if the lessons did not come back to the sea, Tiffs had no desire to learn. She picked up on everything quite fast and had an excellent memory, but her interest dwindled when her mother talked of cultures on land. Tiffs longed for one culture. She knew she would someday be a pirate. She just didn’t realize it would happen as soon as it did.....
Tiffs grew up fast and showed great signs of being just as wise as her mother. At the age of ten Tiffs came home to find her mother crying. The town Magistrate had thrown a pig into Victoria’s face with no explanation....and fired her. Young Tiffs told her mother that a Pirate ship had pulled into port and that this was a chance to escape…chance to put the town of Bogenshire behind them and start fresh. If they wanted to see the world, who better to see it with than pirates? Victoria felt this was a bit too violent of a lifestyle for her young daughter, but Tiffs quickly convinced her mother that violence lurked in every heart....one might as well surround themselves with people who will readily admit to their evil ways. Victoria agreed, and they were soon at port asking to speak with the Captain of the ship.
It was then that they first met. Shakes McGee and her father were making their way back to the ship from the pub. Victoria had gone aboard to speak to Captain Pontificate and left Tiffs to guard their things at the dock. Shakes caught a crewmember by the elbow and asked who the little girl was, the man explained the situation and went to find a whore. The two made eye contact across the dock...time seemed to stop and the air got thicker. Tiffs could see the anger behind Shakes’ green eyes. She knew she had done nothing to provoke the girl, but realized she had been staring at the awkward way the older girl’s legs seemed to tremble. Almost as if she thought the ground was still moving.
Instead of seem a fool in front of the older girl, Tiffs decided to be blunt. Tiffs sneered slightly at her. “Why are your legs shaking?” She asked.
“I’ve never been on land before. I’d wipe that look off your face, little one, have some respect for your elders.”
Tiffs rolled her eyes and said simply, “the tide will turn soon enough.” “What the hell does that mean?” Shakes demanded. Tiffs would say no more. It occurred to her that she didn’t really know what she meant, but it had been exactly the right thing to say at that moment. Often, Tiffs would have flashes of the future in her dreams and speech. Her mother called them premonitions. Tiffs didn’t know how she knew, but that sentence was of vast importance.
Tiffs turned her head to the sound of her mother’s voice and nodded in satisfaction when she heard they would be boarding. As she gathered all her things she caught a glance at Shakes over her shoulder. The short pirate was fuming, but some sort of gleam in those green eyes held a malice that Tiffs was almost positive would turn with the tides. She wasn’t sure when or how, but this was the beginning of something....of that she had dreamed.....of that she could count on.

Five years later, the two girls who never trusted each other, held each other on the eve of Captain Pontificate’s death. He had been like a father to them both, and even in their hatred they knew they needed each other in that moment. But, the next morning brought Shakes McGee the most terrible news she had ever heard. News that made Pontificate’s death pale to any tragedy known to man. Captain Pontificate had left the three ships to be captained by Tiffs. A fifteen-year-old slip of a girl. Three ships to be renamed and governed by her young hand. He left them with this creed......

To my Tiffi, as fierce and glorious as a Typhoon....care for these three ships, and the crews thereof, and you will never die. Live forever, as I longed to do....live forever, and be fierce till the tide turns you to land....and the land turns itself to dust.....and the oceans become the home to be governed and ruled with fire and tears. I give you these ships; because I loved your mother....and in turn....I loved you, her greatest treasure.

Legend says when ere these words are read one can hear the piercing scream of Shakes McGee....the last time she ever screamed in life. The echo of her final scream lives in the winds upon the sea. Because of that scream, Tiffs (who would now be forever called Typhoon Tiffi) told Shakes McGee and her family they could stay working aboard the ship. Tiffs did not trust her, but understood that her loss stretched back 21 years, far more than the blissful 5 years that Tiffs had known Pontificate. All seemed to be well for the next couple of years. Shakes and her family worked just as hard as they ever had. They caused no trouble, and were beneficial to the crew.
But, one night......during the summer of 1700, Shakes McGee and her family mutinied and stole away in Typhoon Tiffi’s beloved sloop. When the crew upon Tiffi’s frigate woke her with the news, they handed her this note....

Typhoon, you saw the future, you said the tides would turn. Did you see this coming? I was born on this ship, no matter what Pontificate said in his letter, this ship belongs to me and my blood. It has been blessed with my birth and with Pontificate’s word that we shall not die if it is taken care of. I shall roam these seas forever...the bane of your existence.....constantly turning your damn tide till I have settled my score. Till my blood runs clean of the stain you left when he loved you more. Are you ready, Typhoon? Captain Shakes McGee

Typhoon said nothing. She simply blew out her candle and went back to sleep. The crew went wild. No one could understand why the Captain did nothing to recover her ship. But, what they did not know is that Typhoon had seen this coming. Typhoon knew Shakes would not stay with her long, but she also knew that great things would come of this war**........but, she had promised Pontificate one thing the day that he died........the war between them would only be at sea. On land they would be the sisters he had always hoped they would be under his care.
So....the war began....and the war rages on.....yet....... Sometimes they can be seen on land together. It took Shakes almost a century to understand the promise Typhoon made to Pontificate, and in the end....her love for Pontificate made her realize that this was the wisest thing Typhoon had done in life. Typhoon often reminds Shakes that the decision was for both of them and was not really made by her alone. Other forces must be at work between them and these forces may never be understood.
The promise is honored....and only deep in their eyes can you see the mistrust and calculations when they meet on land. One has to pay close heed.......the war never really ends........good wars never really do.

** Legend also says that Pontificate left behind a curse. He knew Shakes and Typhoon would hate each other at sea, and he also knew they would love each other on land....even if only because he asked it so. But, to punish them.....the legend says....he left behind a curse so that one day they would learn the error of their ways. Half of their crews have to be the same pirates, because Pontificate believed that hatred for another person was just hatred for oneself.
So, the crews would have to war against themselves on the different ships. Pontificate hoped the curse would open up the eyes of his daughters one day. He loved them so......but knew they were blind. However, to protect his girls from mutiny....if a pirate betrays either of them....the promise is lifted from that pirate and they become mortal again.

The Federation of Me...

Before I give you the list...here is a brief history of the LeahFederation:

In December of 2002 my friend Brett and I were chatting online and waiting for midnight to hit to wish each other Merry Christmas. During the conversation we somehow got around to talking about all of my MANY nicknames. I made a comment having something to do with having so many nicknames they should just call me a Federation of Leahs.
Well, Brett said he would join a Leah Federation...and that gave me an idea. The LeahFederation was born...and to my utmost surprise and joy...many of my friends wanted to join. Even my family joined! It became a fun joke during college and it still lives on!


The following list contains the positions and codenames of most of the Federation members. New members are joining everyday....so the list will grow and soon we will be stronger than most forces on the planet and moon. This way you will be able to get to know your fellow Federation members and discuss with them the jobs they do.
The Leah Federation
President: Leah W...Shakes McGee,The Music Killer, Duchess of Claymore
Vice President: Debbie D ...Bigger Diamond
CEO: Mike W...Pappy McGee
Chief Financial Officer: Sharon W...White Diamond
Anger Management: Brett I...The Destroyer
Federation Avenger: Katie F...Dame Katie
Resident Thug: Sarah L...Amazon Goddess
Industrial Spy: Mark W...Concealment
Duchess of Protocol: Brady V...Ingrid Gryzmyer
Court Jester: Tiffani M...Typhoon Tiffi
Intimidating Bartender: Jack S...Texas Shocker
Presidential Engineer: Tia W...The Bee
Treasurer: Tiffany C...The Finger Painter
Burner of Small Towns: Cassandra C...Cassinator
Sniper: Wendy P...Magnum Leopardess
Hair Stylist: Kate C...She Who Shall Not Be
Named
Burninator: Zane P...Trog of Door
Positions Expert: Chris B...Kama Sutra
Chaplain: Andy H...Lazar Daddy
(Position Top Secret): Michael W **No Codename Yet
Managing Director: Sara G...Green England
Entertainment Director: Joey S **No Codename Yet
Interior Design: Becca F **No Codename Yet
Head of Security: William L,..Boulder McBigHuge
1st Mate Security: Ian D...Nigel Ipswitch
Hardcore: TJ P...MoHawk Jones
Lead Jedi Ninja Spy: Drew S...Steel Von DarkCyde
Make-up Artist: Jaynann D...Jebidiah Avon
Costumer: Elisa H **No Codename Yet
Bread Maker: Ashley H **Codename Lost
Choreographer: Kevin B...Fluffy McFlufferson
Manager of Sarcastic Affaire: Ryan "Rev" M...Biship Nefarious
Stow Away: Melissa S **No Codename Yet
Caretaker of First Knowledge: Brent B...KIN (Knight of Ignoble Nothingness)
Jeweler: Becca W...Fortnight 

and it begins...

I have caved in! I'm a blogger! Since it is almost Thanksgiving...my first blog will be about what I'm thankful for...and then I'll try to be more interesting later. =)
I am thankful for Family, Jesus, friends, peanut butter sandwiches, Disney, my sister's meatloaf, Kasha always telling me that Jesus loves me, that my brothers are funny, George Clooney, books, Jeremy Northam, Gerard Butler, music, literature, theatre, Shakespeare, life, my dad telling silly jokes, my friends loving me enough to want me to move to California, cheese (which should have been further up on this list!), The Bible, being 30 and getting carded for a Rated-R movie, a real good novel and a tasty beverage, Robbie Williams, Batman, comic books, people that have a passion for silly things, my job, Marty entertaining us from five to six, earth, ZipFizz, love, understanding, poetry, and ....the people that will actually take the time to read my blog.
Love you guys...Happy Thanksgiving!