Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Eve

I'm Scrooge. I'm probably Scrooge all year long about most things, but being sarcastic and cynical is an art form!
I have been thinking today about what Christmas is about at the core of the holiday. There are not words to describe how I feel about Jesus being born to die for us. In past years I have written a Christmas poem and emailed it to everybody....but, this year I couldn't find the words. The whole idea has changed for me over the past two years. It has become something more...and I couldn't fit it into a poem this year.
So, I apologize for skipping my Christmas email this year. I am still full of love, sarcasm and hugs for all of you!

Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Cookie Party...

So, my sister watches HGTV in the mornings on the weekends. HGTV and something else...maybe TLC? I'm not sure, but this morning we were watching a show about decorating for Christmas parties. The guy hosting the show was talking about how every year he has a cookie party. I love cookies. This party is a brilliant idea!
He invites all his friends and tells them they have to bring a dozen cookies.....any kind of cookie they choose to make. Then all the cookies are laid around a table and displayed during the party. Can you imagine a table full of wonderful cookies? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......
Anyway, at the end of the party he gives everyone a little bag and you have to leave the house with a dozen cookies. So, you show up with some sugar cookies and leave with all sorts of tasty treats!

Genius party. I want to have a cookie party. I want to have a cookie.

Thursday, December 18, 2008


I woke up this morning...and I felt 30.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Side note...

So, after some questions yesterday...I decided to explain why Jon Stewart's quote made me so happy.
I don't like Prop 8. I think it teaches hate. I don't remember God teaching hate in the Bible. He talks more about love than anything else. From what I have multiple translations...He also teaches us not to judge.
But, I also understand that we all have the right to our own opinion. People are always going to feel different ways about different things. The world would be quite boring if we all thought the same way....and what would be the point if we all did think and feel the same?
I feel some serious rambling coming on! So, I will quit while I'm ahead.
I don't want to offend anybody. I'm sure I have friends and family that totally agree with Prop 8. I find it sad...but, it is what it is...this is how I feel.
On a less serious note: I also feel this strongly about cheese.


Monday, December 15, 2008

stuff and things...

Hello to another Monday!

Today I want to talk about things that made me happy last week. I'm going to take a break from my "Bah Humbug Mania" to discuss a few things of joy.
Dec 9th "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central.
Jon Stewart was interviewing Mike Huckabee and during the interview they started talking about the issue of gay marriage. At my favorite point Jon said this, "...I'll tell you this: Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have for religion? We protect religion -- and talk about a lifestyle choice -- that is absolutely a choice. Gay people don't choose to be gay. At what age did you choose not to be gay?"
Dec 9th was also my sister's birthday and we went to Starbucks to celebrate. Mmmmmmm, celebration.
Dec 11th. I had wings for lunch. They were tasty.
Dec 13th. I went to the Shane and Shane Christmas Concert at my church. I became a fan of Phil Wickham. His voice is amazing. It's hard to feel Bah Humbug when you are singing praise to the King.
Dec 14th. I went to a Christmas party with my new LifeGroup. It was fun. I played Rock Band for the first time...I have discovered that I am sooooooooooooooooo uncoordinated. Let me tell you is a little sad to discover that your brain, hands and feet don't get along.

Anyway...I had a pretty good week. I did have a bit of nervous breakdown on Tuesday. But, other than that...I was almost Un Scrooge last week!

Almost. Let's not get our hopes too high.... =)

Monday, December 8, 2008

Bah Hum Bug 2

So, on Saturday I went to a movie with Becca...we had fun and the movie was good! But, then sad upon sad...I was getting back on the freeway to go to my church Christmas party........BAM! I was hit from behind.
A van hit the car behind me and pushed that car into me. Then! The driver of the van got out and ran away on foot!
My car has no bumper and a dent in the trunk. Hopefully there is no damage underneath! I am fine though...just mad. Alive and mad.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

A bit of Bah Humbug

This will not be the first time you hear me say Bah Humbug during the season. But, I found this picture earlier and thought it was super funny. It is funny to me for the following reasons...
1. It could be proof that I have always been moody about Christmas.
2. That is my sister in the Santa suit.
3. My brothers are wearing footy pajamas.
4. I am wearing pink. That fact alone could explain the expression on my face. 

Some people may ask why I don't like, I shall explain. I don't like what has happened to Christmas. I love Jesus, I love that he was born, I love big warm blankets, hot chocolate, being around friends and family, comfy pants to watch TV in while drinking hot chocolate...and thinking about love and joy.
I do NOT love shopping, kids freaking out because they aren't getting the most expensive stuff, people yelling at each other in the mall because they grabbed that last box first, people forgetting Jesus because Santa brings stuff...and Jesus doesn't come in a big cool box. 
I guess I get all Scrooge during the holiday season because I feel like the holiday I remember is lost.
My dad would read Luke 2 to us...we would have PLENTY of warm beverages, sit around with throw blankets, talk again about what we were thankful for...and have tasty food all day long.
Anyway...I'm sure not everyone has lost the season. And maybe if I ever have a family of my own I'll be able to find the season again. It's still there in my heart! Even if I have my Scrooge face on...
Now I'm rambling...I really just wanted to share a funny picture. Le sigh. 

Much love. I wish you joy. I wish you comfy pants.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Is There Anybody Out There?

I took this iPod game off of Kate's blog...(my sista friend!)

I'm killing time while avoiding the scary world of Black Friday. I can't stand today is a day where the world scares me.

1. Put your iPod on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

Let's hear is for the boy--Deniece Williams

Stand By Me--Oasis

Killing me Softly with His Song--Fugees (HA HA HA)

Kiss Me Deadly--Billy Idol

Animal--Pearl Jam (This game is fun)

I Know--Barenaked Ladies
The Futile--Say Anything (Hey now!)

death of a martian--Red Hot Chili Peppers

WHAT IS 2+2?
His Name is Lancelot--Spamalot

Minimum Wage--They Might Be Giants

Dani California--Red Hot Chili Peppers

Love of a Lifetime--Firehouse

Le Freak--Chic (Best.Answer.Ever)

Hazy Shade of Winter--The Bangles

The Space Between--Dave Matthews Band

Not For You--Pearl Jam (is that a bad omen?)

Kung Fu Fighting--Carl Douglas (YES)

You Surround Me--Erasure

Deeper and Deeper--Madonna

Africa--Toto (Yes...there is Toto on my iPod)

The Sharpest Lives--My Chemical Romance


Star Wars Battle Theme--John Williams (I regret nothing!)

Every Little Thing She Does is Magic--The Police

enjoy the silence--Depeche Mode

Popular--Wicked (Original Broadway Soundtrack)

Not the Same--Ben Folds

I'll Make a Man Out of You--Mulan Soundtrack

Conquest--The White Stripes

The Song That Goes Like This--Spamalot

Is There Anybody Out There?--Pink Floyd

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

For Memorie


I just got off the phone with you! And as per our conversation...I will be dedicating this blog post to you! Today I shall speak of the things of our is all about...

"The Life and Times of Pot and Pan"
by Leah...Chunk #2

1. I still remember the night we met in high school. How bitter and peeved we both were at our Moms for 'deciding' we were going to be friends. (Did we ever thank them?) I was so nervous when you came to pick me up for the back to school dance. What if we hated each other? What if we had nothing in common? I remember thinking your dad was funny, and your brother was cute...and that your clothes were rad, but I was still nervous.
And then we got to the dance...and you started to dance! Actually dance at a school dance! You didn't sit around by the walls and chat...or wander around flirting with the jocks...or stare at your shoes. You danced. I think that was all it took. We danced...and we were friends.
2. And we were crazy! I remember skipping down the halls in high school and stopping at people's lockers to sing Christmas Carols to September.
3. Making up songs and dances about boys we thought were cute. Tia and I made up less appropriate songs, but they were all funny.
Well, to be fair...I guess not everyone thought we were funny. We did get in yelling matches with the jocks at dances. We did crash other high school dances and discover that those jocks didn't like us either. Huh. I can only think of five or six of the jock types that did like us. Interesting.
4. We had the best sleep overs! Popcorn with so much butter I'm surprised we are still alive..."Anne of Green Gables"...and our own brand of funny. You would let me sing Disney songs to you.
6. Oooooo...I remember the time we broke into your house because we wanted a piece of cake.
7. Did I mention we had an unhealthy love for butter?
8. College dances! That one year that we went to the Dixie College Halloween football players DID like us. Hee hee. I think my favorite dance to this day was the BYU Homecoming we crashed in jeans and t-shirts with Tia and Michelle. I need to find those pictures again. I know I have one framed somewhere.

We have always had fun. You have always been one of my favorite people. I know we had a few years that we lost, but it doesn't matter. When we finally did get to talk again and see each other was like nothing had happened...we just had more to catch up on than usual. =)
I miss you. I miss you everyday. I'm glad we still talk on the phone...and even after all the years and all the distance...we still have something very important in common: We are rad.

Love you!


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Pirate Story

K, one more for today. For those of you that don't best friend, Tiffani Mills, and I are pirates. We love pirates and most things having to do with pirates.
Well, when I met Tiffani in college she had a large pirate following (much like my LeahFederation). I didn't have a pirate following yet, but I did have a name and my Federation to back me. The war of the two pirates became another fun joke...because we are the very best at entertaining ourselves!
So, when Tiffani created a group on MySpace for our pirate war between Typhoon Tiffi and Shakes McGee...I decided to write a story to go with it with inspiration from my dear friend, Tiff!

The Story of how it all began

Shakes and Typhoon, the saga Leah Wuergler

In 1674, upon the Pirate Ship of Captain Pontificate, the first child born to sea took her first breath at the hull of the mighty sloop. It was this clear night in April that Master Gunner Michael and his bride, Sweet Sherry McGee, gave birth to Shakes McGee. Shakes was raised on the ship, never setting her feet on land until her sixteenth birthday when the Sloop came into port in the town of Bogenshire. It was there that she would first set eyes on the little girl that would become her greatest enemy.
Victoria the Wise gave birth to Tiffani Spifftopolous on June 15th, 1680. Victoria was living just outside of Bogenshire, and moved into the center of town shortly after Tiffani was give her daughter a better chance at life. After getting a job with the town Magistrate, Victoria started teaching Tiffs about the world, and all the different cultures there in. Victoria wanted nothing more than for her daughter to grow up and take them both away. But, Tiffs had one love and that was the sea. It seemed that no matter what her mother taught her, if the lessons did not come back to the sea, Tiffs had no desire to learn. She picked up on everything quite fast and had an excellent memory, but her interest dwindled when her mother talked of cultures on land. Tiffs longed for one culture. She knew she would someday be a pirate. She just didn’t realize it would happen as soon as it did.....
Tiffs grew up fast and showed great signs of being just as wise as her mother. At the age of ten Tiffs came home to find her mother crying. The town Magistrate had thrown a pig into Victoria’s face with no explanation....and fired her. Young Tiffs told her mother that a Pirate ship had pulled into port and that this was a chance to escape…chance to put the town of Bogenshire behind them and start fresh. If they wanted to see the world, who better to see it with than pirates? Victoria felt this was a bit too violent of a lifestyle for her young daughter, but Tiffs quickly convinced her mother that violence lurked in every might as well surround themselves with people who will readily admit to their evil ways. Victoria agreed, and they were soon at port asking to speak with the Captain of the ship.
It was then that they first met. Shakes McGee and her father were making their way back to the ship from the pub. Victoria had gone aboard to speak to Captain Pontificate and left Tiffs to guard their things at the dock. Shakes caught a crewmember by the elbow and asked who the little girl was, the man explained the situation and went to find a whore. The two made eye contact across the dock...time seemed to stop and the air got thicker. Tiffs could see the anger behind Shakes’ green eyes. She knew she had done nothing to provoke the girl, but realized she had been staring at the awkward way the older girl’s legs seemed to tremble. Almost as if she thought the ground was still moving.
Instead of seem a fool in front of the older girl, Tiffs decided to be blunt. Tiffs sneered slightly at her. “Why are your legs shaking?” She asked.
“I’ve never been on land before. I’d wipe that look off your face, little one, have some respect for your elders.”
Tiffs rolled her eyes and said simply, “the tide will turn soon enough.” “What the hell does that mean?” Shakes demanded. Tiffs would say no more. It occurred to her that she didn’t really know what she meant, but it had been exactly the right thing to say at that moment. Often, Tiffs would have flashes of the future in her dreams and speech. Her mother called them premonitions. Tiffs didn’t know how she knew, but that sentence was of vast importance.
Tiffs turned her head to the sound of her mother’s voice and nodded in satisfaction when she heard they would be boarding. As she gathered all her things she caught a glance at Shakes over her shoulder. The short pirate was fuming, but some sort of gleam in those green eyes held a malice that Tiffs was almost positive would turn with the tides. She wasn’t sure when or how, but this was the beginning of something....of that she had dreamed.....of that she could count on.

Five years later, the two girls who never trusted each other, held each other on the eve of Captain Pontificate’s death. He had been like a father to them both, and even in their hatred they knew they needed each other in that moment. But, the next morning brought Shakes McGee the most terrible news she had ever heard. News that made Pontificate’s death pale to any tragedy known to man. Captain Pontificate had left the three ships to be captained by Tiffs. A fifteen-year-old slip of a girl. Three ships to be renamed and governed by her young hand. He left them with this creed......

To my Tiffi, as fierce and glorious as a for these three ships, and the crews thereof, and you will never die. Live forever, as I longed to forever, and be fierce till the tide turns you to land....and the land turns itself to dust.....and the oceans become the home to be governed and ruled with fire and tears. I give you these ships; because I loved your mother....and in turn....I loved you, her greatest treasure.

Legend says when ere these words are read one can hear the piercing scream of Shakes McGee....the last time she ever screamed in life. The echo of her final scream lives in the winds upon the sea. Because of that scream, Tiffs (who would now be forever called Typhoon Tiffi) told Shakes McGee and her family they could stay working aboard the ship. Tiffs did not trust her, but understood that her loss stretched back 21 years, far more than the blissful 5 years that Tiffs had known Pontificate. All seemed to be well for the next couple of years. Shakes and her family worked just as hard as they ever had. They caused no trouble, and were beneficial to the crew.
But, one night......during the summer of 1700, Shakes McGee and her family mutinied and stole away in Typhoon Tiffi’s beloved sloop. When the crew upon Tiffi’s frigate woke her with the news, they handed her this note....

Typhoon, you saw the future, you said the tides would turn. Did you see this coming? I was born on this ship, no matter what Pontificate said in his letter, this ship belongs to me and my blood. It has been blessed with my birth and with Pontificate’s word that we shall not die if it is taken care of. I shall roam these seas forever...the bane of your existence.....constantly turning your damn tide till I have settled my score. Till my blood runs clean of the stain you left when he loved you more. Are you ready, Typhoon? Captain Shakes McGee

Typhoon said nothing. She simply blew out her candle and went back to sleep. The crew went wild. No one could understand why the Captain did nothing to recover her ship. But, what they did not know is that Typhoon had seen this coming. Typhoon knew Shakes would not stay with her long, but she also knew that great things would come of this war**........but, she had promised Pontificate one thing the day that he died........the war between them would only be at sea. On land they would be the sisters he had always hoped they would be under his care.
So....the war began....and the war rages on.....yet....... Sometimes they can be seen on land together. It took Shakes almost a century to understand the promise Typhoon made to Pontificate, and in the end....her love for Pontificate made her realize that this was the wisest thing Typhoon had done in life. Typhoon often reminds Shakes that the decision was for both of them and was not really made by her alone. Other forces must be at work between them and these forces may never be understood.
The promise is honored....and only deep in their eyes can you see the mistrust and calculations when they meet on land. One has to pay close heed.......the war never really ends........good wars never really do.

** Legend also says that Pontificate left behind a curse. He knew Shakes and Typhoon would hate each other at sea, and he also knew they would love each other on land....even if only because he asked it so. But, to punish them.....the legend says....he left behind a curse so that one day they would learn the error of their ways. Half of their crews have to be the same pirates, because Pontificate believed that hatred for another person was just hatred for oneself.
So, the crews would have to war against themselves on the different ships. Pontificate hoped the curse would open up the eyes of his daughters one day. He loved them so......but knew they were blind. However, to protect his girls from mutiny....if a pirate betrays either of them....the promise is lifted from that pirate and they become mortal again.

The Federation of Me...

Before I give you the is a brief history of the LeahFederation:

In December of 2002 my friend Brett and I were chatting online and waiting for midnight to hit to wish each other Merry Christmas. During the conversation we somehow got around to talking about all of my MANY nicknames. I made a comment having something to do with having so many nicknames they should just call me a Federation of Leahs.
Well, Brett said he would join a Leah Federation...and that gave me an idea. The LeahFederation was born...and to my utmost surprise and joy...many of my friends wanted to join. Even my family joined! It became a fun joke during college and it still lives on!

The following list contains the positions and codenames of most of the Federation members. New members are joining the list will grow and soon we will be stronger than most forces on the planet and moon. This way you will be able to get to know your fellow Federation members and discuss with them the jobs they do.
The Leah Federation
President: Leah W...Shakes McGee,The Music Killer, Duchess of Claymore
Vice President: Debbie D ...Bigger Diamond
CEO: Mike W...Pappy McGee
Chief Financial Officer: Sharon W...White Diamond
Anger Management: Brett I...The Destroyer
Federation Avenger: Katie F...Dame Katie
Resident Thug: Sarah L...Amazon Goddess
Industrial Spy: Mark W...Concealment
Duchess of Protocol: Brady V...Ingrid Gryzmyer
Court Jester: Tiffani M...Typhoon Tiffi
Intimidating Bartender: Jack S...Texas Shocker
Presidential Engineer: Tia W...The Bee
Treasurer: Tiffany C...The Finger Painter
Burner of Small Towns: Cassandra C...Cassinator
Sniper: Wendy P...Magnum Leopardess
Hair Stylist: Kate C...She Who Shall Not Be
Burninator: Zane P...Trog of Door
Positions Expert: Chris B...Kama Sutra
Chaplain: Andy H...Lazar Daddy
(Position Top Secret): Michael W **No Codename Yet
Managing Director: Sara G...Green England
Entertainment Director: Joey S **No Codename Yet
Interior Design: Becca F **No Codename Yet
Head of Security: William L,..Boulder McBigHuge
1st Mate Security: Ian D...Nigel Ipswitch
Hardcore: TJ P...MoHawk Jones
Lead Jedi Ninja Spy: Drew S...Steel Von DarkCyde
Make-up Artist: Jaynann D...Jebidiah Avon
Costumer: Elisa H **No Codename Yet
Bread Maker: Ashley H **Codename Lost
Choreographer: Kevin B...Fluffy McFlufferson
Manager of Sarcastic Affaire: Ryan "Rev" M...Biship Nefarious
Stow Away: Melissa S **No Codename Yet
Caretaker of First Knowledge: Brent B...KIN (Knight of Ignoble Nothingness)
Jeweler: Becca W...Fortnight 

and it begins...

I have caved in! I'm a blogger! Since it is almost first blog will be about what I'm thankful for...and then I'll try to be more interesting later. =)
I am thankful for Family, Jesus, friends, peanut butter sandwiches, Disney, my sister's meatloaf, Kasha always telling me that Jesus loves me, that my brothers are funny, George Clooney, books, Jeremy Northam, Gerard Butler, music, literature, theatre, Shakespeare, life, my dad telling silly jokes, my friends loving me enough to want me to move to California, cheese (which should have been further up on this list!), The Bible, being 30 and getting carded for a Rated-R movie, a real good novel and a tasty beverage, Robbie Williams, Batman, comic books, people that have a passion for silly things, my job, Marty entertaining us from five to six, earth, ZipFizz, love, understanding, poetry, and ....the people that will actually take the time to read my blog.
Love you guys...Happy Thanksgiving!